{"product_id":"american-oceans-1","title":"American Oceans","description":"\u003cp\u003e\"The Pacific\"? Sounds suspiciously like pacifism. We don't do that here. From now on, the biggest body of water on planet Earth is officially American Ocean 1—because calling a massive geopolitical moat anything other than a numbered domestic asset is a waste of federal ink.\n\n  And what the hell was an \"Atlantic\" anyway? Sounds like a defunct luxury hotel or a Greek myth we never agreed to subsidize. Rebranded: American Ocean 2. Clean, sequential, and impossible for third-graders to spell wrong on standardized tests.\n\n  Throw in the Gulf of America to correct that pesky southern cartography error, and congratulations: our borders are now protected by sheer administrative laziness. The rest of the world's maritime heritage has been reduced to convenient perimeter moats, while Canada sits up top looking nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Flock U Shop","offers":[{"title":"Keychain","offer_id":67623307968701,"sku":"15399118667965-KEY","price":6.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coaster Set","offer_id":67623308001469,"sku":"15399118667965-CST","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":67623308034237,"sku":"15399118667965-STK","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Poker Chip","offer_id":67623308067005,"sku":"15399118667965-CHP","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0799\/1263\/2509\/files\/american-oceans_60c979be-a5b9-4bf3-a4d8-09526c4616da.webp?v=1790898592","url":"https:\/\/flockushop.com\/products\/american-oceans-1","provider":"Flock U Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}